Why is so

Just waking up from a noon sleep , sleeping really helps to forget . Had made a condition in front of Shreya that if she wanna continue then she has to arrange an girl and i will be kissing that girl in front of her or she could leave me easily , The two choices i gave her was really harsh i know but I had no choice left as I could not leave her or If I may live with her I don't wanna live with guilt that i am living with girl who was physical with other guys too , I just wanna make her feel the pain in which I am burning right now . I know it would be impossible for me to arrange a girl for my self and burn shreya in front of her, so I have given this job of searching any girl to shreya only . And Have told shreya that I will reply her after she will be making a choice either leaving me or fulfilling the condition .

I know I am not good man I am an bustard

But what to do I have no control over me

I know one day I have to pay for all this debt and i'l be sad

I don't know what i should do right now even i can't see

This world is so harsh I don't love to live

I am burning and burning with my all heart burn

How I have made this all situation in my fucking life

I just want everything new even include the so high sun

Why is everything is not so simple to understand

Everything is tough and its like solving puzzle

I am just searching my satisfaction in a big sand

I just wanna fly and fly freely just like a bubble