Nothing is difficult

Feeling like an ass what to say .. :/ ....... i have been in wrong company ever since i came to bhilai . I am spoiling my name as well as my dads name whom i really really love from heart and respect him . He gave me so much but i am fucking his reputation by my shameful activity's from today i have made it in my mind that i will lock myself in home and will not go to the bad company its really tough to detach from them but i will need to do that . I will be left with lots of free time after leaving there company and in that time i may be able to study something . The thing i never thought to do in dreams I did after joining there company . I will have to spend lots and lots of time with me myself because i need some self realization as i have fucked my life so harshly . People except your family can't understand you in their entire life i realized . Dad gave me so much since i am born but i didn't value it . I am giving importance to the people who did nothing good to my favor except spoiling me and my entire carrier . I valued to the people who never want me to shine in future . Everyone is walking ahead and i am still standing in my place i think this deed of mine would never help me in future . I did lots of mistakes now need to correct them , studying is difficult act for me but i will not die after giving a try . Hope today I follow what i said and be completely detached from the wrong company and when i feel i have nothing to do i will study sincerely , little effort of mine will benefit no one , will not give satisfaction and great future to no one , the only one will get everything by my effort is me and only me .