I was trying a fucking Hindi poem but it was just fucked up means with no rhyming and no sense so I thought to delete it . You know me going School from tomorrow finally got admission , hope tomorrow I would be able to patch up with things and able to match the speed of the day .

Sometimes We try to run from somethings which are really precious to us but we don't know that this things from which we are running is so unique and rare that it won't come again to us . So better run after a good think if you are running ......

Things are so round and round and round . These days I am not going schools unable to think that i am enjoying it or hating it . These fucking so heavy books are not that tough when someone teaches but its boring when you try to learn by your own . By my speed of studying no one has expectations from me , they just think if this guy get pass it would be enough for him nothing more great he can achieve . Yesterday A piece of cigarette was lying outside my house , who smoked and thrown I don't know . But dad Was questioning me and having doubts that did I smoke or what . I felt so broken what to say means I never ever liked cigarette in my life but dad was having doubt on me , not anyone else my dad was having doubt . Its good when you move your life with zero expectations by others side , as when you fall no one gets hurt except you as you know you are gonna fall one day or another . I am just running without fuel this life means I am using some another source of slow energy instead of fuel to run this wheels and heavy Tyre's . When school will start? its a question half of June has been passed siting in home Mom dad feel like that I am just waste With no outcome . I will give another try to study my books rather than Just studying in Tuition's , I know self study is important but I am unable to do it .

One day will come with lots of shine in this life with loads of brightness when I'l be able to laugh hard and will be able to run and run laughing and shouting because of my victory as I would have got my holy satisfaction . Then one girl will come in my path. I'l kiss her and she too in back , She will try to tear my shirt apart and scratch my head my hair but I'l bring her in control . We will after kissing will just walk in hand in hand in that bright morning full of happiness Just me adoring the world and she adoring just me . No question She will be asking neither I would have one we will just watch each other and may walk till the end of that beautiful day .....

One day will come , One day will come ..

This Poem just I had text to shreya and not got The Very much satisfied reply she just text me that it was good baby ( boho pyarri hae jaan ) . Feeling normal as I expected the same reply .

I love the way you make me feel better

I remember you when I see your letter

I may have feel bad because of you

Then after I realize That it was my bad I had no clue

The way you hug me I feel so safe and good in your arms

I just feel that hug could never stop and I get continuous warms

I trust you more than I trust myself , That's why I get angry sometimes

I know my poem is boring and Lacking out of rhymes

I just want one precious thing from this life

That is you and only you as my wife

I never saw such dream before until you came

I just wanna spend my entire life with you I can say with no shame

Oh my darling never feel unsecured By my side

As you are my life and my breath how can i leave you and hide

The way you try to make me feel no one can do the same thing

The way you tolerate me and try to understand me I feel like king

Yesterday was fucking awesome , Its so true that god gives you beatings and then after sometimes he heal them and give you praising's too . I was with shreya yesterday at noon firstly that part was awesome she came home when I was home alone what we would have done its not the question to think We enjoyed did fun and did that too . I felt that shreya was doing so much for me and I was doing shit in return . Sometimes I feel she completely owes me I don't have point now to say something in her against if anything she does. As she gave me so much importance . I told you know that shreya had so many X's means many b.f's huge list of b.f . One of his b.f I saw in evening when I was at shopping mart , her b.f and I know each other we are mutual friends . I called shreya at the moment I saw her X b.f at the mart . To make him feel jealous I was roaming in mart with shreya hand in hand it was so fucking gave me satisfaction that you Mr. X now me the forever and ever after b.f of shreya no breakups now and she with me now and you loosed her . Shreya felt my activity was dirty as she went to past when she was with him and he too i felt that after watching their faces .

I too regretted of my so so human nature off making anyone feel jealous . Afterwards I apologized to Shreya that ya What I did today was so so mean and I'l not repeat it . She said okay and was saying that she didn't felt that bad and was saying we could do this another time with my X's and her X's again ...

Study Study study ... The only thing which can pay me now is study , the way dad told me about reality I am fucking scared about my future . I realized that I am getting dissolved in the pit of shit made only for me . I have to start concentrating over my studies if I have To achieve what I have made it in my mind . No one has problem with anyone means no one thinks so much about others and try to dissolved over others situation . Everyone try to be in their own situation and everyone knows that they have to think about themselves . As If they will not concentrate over themselves they will get fucked . I too need to wake from my fucking dream or else it will be too late . Told shreya everything what I want from this life she agreed to help me and ease me forever . I really love her so so much but I don't realize I try to lie from my self that I hate shreya and I can be without her but its not possible in dreams too . Now Main Aim is to study and get good college after studying this last year in school means twelfth very nicely . I need to give little labor Really If I wanna achieve what I wanna achieve .

Mind was not in stable state that's why was not blogging these days . Had A good party few days before gone out of control there . This days are going usual's trying to learn importance of the thing I need the most . I need the most includes my dream of running high and never falling down and self satisfaction I should say holy self satisfaction better . This books are heavy but if we give a try we can do something more than nothing I am talking about school books . The desire of your has no ending but this desire requires commitment if you need to achieve this desire truly . This heart Is so so heavy sometimes you don't know the reason but you just want someone to come and ease your heaviness and make you feel better . Why in this life we get nothing in hand so much easy if we could get something easily , I would have demanded my satisfaction and easiness .. :/

The thing which is going to be same is nearly nothing

Time has power to change everything

But why the fuck time can't remove heaviness soon

What time waits for may be it waits for the fall of moon

We humans are just so humans of great use

But we have some default somewhere or some fuse

As we can't ease our-self by own we need someone

Someone is tough to get but we need none more than that someone

I feel 70 percent of total population of this world believes in god . So assumption of mine says that we can communicate with those 70 percent of peoples with little effort and then there will be so much friends of mine no loneliness and no fights . Just sometimes in case little quarrel may arise but no fights from heart . So I think I should start communicating nicely by being good to others i think I can expect their goodness too for someday . This is good , this day is good , atmosphere too is good just need some good eyes to watch through it .

Without twist and turns and sadness pain and all , life will be tasteless boring . So I expect everything but I want joy and happiness more in comparison to those above things i mentioned .

Every thing you do You get in return so nice policy made by god , by some way or another you get back what you did sometimes you realize that this policy is true and sometimes not but the policy works every time you realize or not it will

work .