Whats going on . what is really happening , am I gone mad or what . Anything would have happened I don't care . I only know that I can be in love with one girl and by the heart and she is Shreya only . I can just be friends or just talk for fun with another girls . But my heart is stolen by that witch only its so true but I am unable to convince anyone . I am watching her behaving unusual  these days . What happened to her she may know better . I think she is tired to tolerate me and she wants me to understand her and make her feel better . But what I am doing in return is a shit I feel . I can just cry aloud and say I Love you shreya for almost Thousand times or more than that . All characters except shreya and few friends are falling from my list . The thing which is a main issue I feel in my mind is to be true to everyone including myself with ability of acceptance too and Wanna be serious for my future as I wanna get what I have made in my mind . I don't want to die without giving my 100 percent which i can give to my dreams . 

The day is a day which is sometimes shining and sometimes blue . You don't have any clue that what's gonna happen for next . The thing just get happen you can't do anything more than thinking that what happened in a instant now . Its so confusing why we think about others as its not going to help us as that person has no high intensity for you they behave normal but we get intense for them with no issue so confusing. Sometimes we think of no use just useless , we just have a habit to predict that I have done this now what will happen for next sort of . There should be peace in mind that you are in right path doing good deeds how anything wrong would happen to you . If in condition it happens you would have satisfaction that you always did right this is not because of your fault .

So strange feelings gets heavy over you sometimes

This feelings doesn't have an issue so we get sad

We by our self let the the feeling get heavy over us every times

You are so much intense for some feelings you think so hard

But they don't feel the same and be normal

They are so much in easy mode and so bright

We go mad and sad due to them and so critical

Try to be pure with truth then you are satisfied in height

I had good sad day today , as I was so much down and depressed and my friends made it a brighter and a new day for me . I made two new friends Shalabh and Pratha . Shalabh is a rock-star and Pratha is magician the noon was saved by Pratha as she tried a level to ease me by showing her great presence in Facebook . And our Rock Star Shalabh gave me some tips about life how the things go and how the world is ! in real sense . He scored 89 percent in board but then too he is searching for a good college . One side he stands and one side I and after watching him . I see myself with no future , no college and no job in hand as I am not that rich that I should take no tension . This day is owed by both of them hence . And no story these days of akshu and anushri(anshu) and other girls except shreya met shreya today it was normal meeting and its more than usual . A message blinked of akshu as i messaged her first when I was mentally unstable her reply came but late when I was going for sleep . She replied as she felt pity for me she said sorry in return as she is completely invisible these days . I told her that " its natural its nature its fine i didn't mind and why you felt sorry you should not feel " .

She send sad smiley in return I was like in don't know situation again running alone with my problems and irritations . Its fine I felt now the run is for money , career and fame and some satisfaction with that . Trying to fix time table hope I don't get fail again in doing that . I should sleep for 6 hour only as i searched in Google ,Will try to follow and will try to be fresh and real so soon with some truthfulness .

School is filled with same kind of People like me no differentiation . They do loads of fun and disturbance with a pinch of study . Its like fine with me , but just I am unable to do that self study its getting tough for me . Every time i sit for studying my mind starts flowing with wind where I too don't know . Its not the positive sign I know but what else I could do better than doing nothing . I am getting so much tired and feel sleepy as I do loads of hard work in doing nothing.

Today Is new day in school expecting it to be good from heart lets see now . The story from the love side is that I am again getting emotionless and I don't get affected by love or hate so its helping me to get neutral from all direction . Yesterday night I was feeling like crying don't know why but tears where not coming out,then after that I realized that all my emotions got burned so How can I laugh or cry in true sense ......

I was trying a fucking Hindi poem but it was just fucked up means with no rhyming and no sense so I thought to delete it . You know me going School from tomorrow finally got admission , hope tomorrow I would be able to patch up with things and able to match the speed of the day .

Sometimes We try to run from somethings which are really precious to us but we don't know that this things from which we are running is so unique and rare that it won't come again to us . So better run after a good think if you are running ......

Things are so round and round and round . These days I am not going schools unable to think that i am enjoying it or hating it . These fucking so heavy books are not that tough when someone teaches but its boring when you try to learn by your own . By my speed of studying no one has expectations from me , they just think if this guy get pass it would be enough for him nothing more great he can achieve . Yesterday A piece of cigarette was lying outside my house , who smoked and thrown I don't know . But dad Was questioning me and having doubts that did I smoke or what . I felt so broken what to say means I never ever liked cigarette in my life but dad was having doubt on me , not anyone else my dad was having doubt . Its good when you move your life with zero expectations by others side , as when you fall no one gets hurt except you as you know you are gonna fall one day or another . I am just running without fuel this life means I am using some another source of slow energy instead of fuel to run this wheels and heavy Tyre's . When school will start? its a question half of June has been passed siting in home Mom dad feel like that I am just waste With no outcome . I will give another try to study my books rather than Just studying in Tuition's , I know self study is important but I am unable to do it .

One day will come with lots of shine in this life with loads of brightness when I'l be able to laugh hard and will be able to run and run laughing and shouting because of my victory as I would have got my holy satisfaction . Then one girl will come in my path. I'l kiss her and she too in back , She will try to tear my shirt apart and scratch my head my hair but I'l bring her in control . We will after kissing will just walk in hand in hand in that bright morning full of happiness Just me adoring the world and she adoring just me . No question She will be asking neither I would have one we will just watch each other and may walk till the end of that beautiful day .....

One day will come , One day will come ..

This Poem just I had text to shreya and not got The Very much satisfied reply she just text me that it was good baby ( boho pyarri hae jaan ) . Feeling normal as I expected the same reply .

I love the way you make me feel better

I remember you when I see your letter

I may have feel bad because of you

Then after I realize That it was my bad I had no clue

The way you hug me I feel so safe and good in your arms

I just feel that hug could never stop and I get continuous warms

I trust you more than I trust myself , That's why I get angry sometimes

I know my poem is boring and Lacking out of rhymes

I just want one precious thing from this life

That is you and only you as my wife

I never saw such dream before until you came

I just wanna spend my entire life with you I can say with no shame

Oh my darling never feel unsecured By my side

As you are my life and my breath how can i leave you and hide

The way you try to make me feel no one can do the same thing

The way you tolerate me and try to understand me I feel like king