Just getting up from typhoid not fully recover but now in condition of doing work , and in condition of thinking and writing rubbish . These days where better than usual's I realized a little that what I want the most and I realized that Too that I am not giving a shit to it . All the wastage thoughts about girls and lust i am trying to wash , trying to come out from my world of fantasy. Shreya is fine so is akshu and so is anshu everyone realized for them what is fucking important that is their future but me fucking with my imagination and my fucking dreams . Thought about party tomorrow it just got spoiled as no one is free to go with me tomorrow or no one is so intact with me . I need to learn the virtue of studies me messing with my self i feel sometimes ..

The thing is never the thing its just something

That something hold importance more than everything

We Take that something as granted or we don't cherish it

Sometimes we cry in future or get disguise and get a shit

You yourself can see things better

As you can see with your eyes better than they see the letter

Its just about working hard sometimes and getting that something

Or sometimes its about getting everything but not that something

Sometimes that little Smile is everything for you

Sometimes that thing has great importance you know but you blew

The thing you want sometimes is that someone only or that thing

For someone that someone is important and for someone that thing

We always find ways to get sad , why we does not find reason to get happy . We are not sad sometimes but we find some reasons . Sometimes free heart makes you happy . Don't think about other and get sad think about other and get happy think that you are in better condition then theirs . Be happy and see you have lots of better option to be happy Just try to be an happy person and you easily can be its very simple process . Whoa saying and applying are two different things , the thing I told now is easily I am saying but I am unable to apply . Had fight with Shreya yesterday I was guiding her about goodness but she was not interested then I got there that me an ass person how could I guide anyone . She was comparing everything with me so I thought to not to waste my values I felt . I'l teach someone else , akshu is invincible these days what happened to her don't know . She might be busy as she has her twelfth she has to work hard . i too need to get little busy studies matter , so much of expectation from dad can't make him fall this time . Emotions are so vast its so difficult to be learned .

Not feeling well attacked by which disease unable to get it , took some new medicines hope it would work and I'l get some recovery . Today met shreya she was sad as I gave her my blog ID and she read all the stuff i Wrote about her and akshu . What would I have done simple as always no great more than nothing . Was Trying to explain her to an extent , she messaged me later that she was in bad mood that's why was little sad . Told dad about what I feel for career he is so supportive This year I'l not fail him I really love him from mu bottom of the heart .

The thing you need in indeed is nothing

Its just little something but you need it more

In the race of getting more you don't enjoy that something

That's why you feel unsatisfied and heart feel so sore

Making many smile is difficult process

It would be easy when just you smile

Making many people smile can lead to a mess

You your self can do it no one else could do more than a while

To get something you need to give something . In today's world getting shit too is a difficult process nothing comes for free . I want so much from this life , but sometimes I feel do I am giving anything to this life of mine . Then I realize that I am doing nothing more than thinking here . Just thinking won't make me reach my far far destination . Sometimes I feel how nice it would have been when I think something good that would happen in real life . But its not working thinking is not working here in my case . Have to study both eleventh as well as twelfth course in a row to achieve something after twelfth not expecting any great college as I know I don't deserve it . Thinking of Collecting notes of past year So it would help me to study little well with little more accuracy . I want to achieve something more than nothing this time .

Easy is a word which is easy to speak

But it doesn't mean that its easy to achieve

Speaking and achieving are the two different things

You can do many things in your dreams with your little wings

In real world what you need is to see your need

Because achieving what you need is a thing which is great

You will see several paths which have different destination

But you have to decide that you are opting which path of satisfaction

Was really sick these days medicines were not working , but feeling better now thanks to dad as his self vomiting trick worked and i puked all the waste of my body by putting my hands under my mouth . Hope will recover soon , what else I can hope better in this situation . Things are not working well and good with me but then too trying to do nothing as I am good at doing nothing . I am not wasting one year , Got one tragic solution now will be studying twelfth in some school and its not private its regular . It will take few months its like playing gamble to save your one year and get a great career ahead . These days no girl issue is heavy over me everything is under my control , me creating my rules and destroying by my self . My logo is helping little " I don't Care " .

Why thinks are not in hand always

The thing we see reaching there is so tough

Can't we reach there by doing nothing or by some easy ways

Getting soothness is never easy its always tough and rough

Craziness can be tackle by anyone

but for some peoples they need someone special

The thing you feel can't be feel by many its can feel by one

That One is so different and that's why You feel real

Today is my Sweetest friends birthday Will dedicate a poem to her , her name is Reshu:

Your smile is so precious you smile like an angle

The thing i can do for your smile beautiful is anything here

You shine every time the thing I need forever and ever

This world is with full of twist and turns so be clever

If you need someone somewhere anytime its me

You can depend on me as I am for you M.r dependable

Hope this Life would be wonderful for you always

Keep smiling always as you and your smile is very precious

The thing you should remember when you get sad is me

As you will get sad I will to get sad and will feel like a bee

You my sweetu and my honey , I want you to be pure as you are

Some things won't be in your favor wait for me we will make it bizarre

Today was interesting as I gave break up to shreya finally and told her to never message me neither I'l disturb her . Feeling nice I want everything true and intense and I want everything in my favor I know I am greedy and possessive but what to do i am what i am so at the end heart is free with no hard feelings in heart for anyone . Hoping this will help me in my studies little as I have fucked my one whole year I wanna achieve something this time . Everyone get every time someone somewhere we both will get after separation . Its difficult to feel that what I feel for someone . I know I'l regret but what to do sometimes you have to learn regretting too . School is going fine in study, fighting and enjoying factor . Heart is still heavy what it needs is little space now i feel . We need someone to understand us I think I myself could understand me better than anyone . Thinking for little brightness in this dark dark blurred blurred world .

The thing i said is just untrue as it has changed before 15 min from now so we again had patch Up .

Today went to school for the first time it was fine not that bad as i expected . Learn something that no one comes to a fight with you with no issue they have some issue and you too hold mistakes in that issue you are never the pure in any fight , if you would have pure completely the situation of fighting would not have raised truly . And realized that self satisfaction is more important than anything people may think thousand things about you but at the end you should know who you are and what all things you have done so you are satisfied with no silly doubts .

The thing i know is really i don't know

I want nothing I want just myself with some satisfaction

Great is just a word until you do something new

The thing I need is what sometimes i feel its above affection

The thing you need for being happy is just peace of mind

With little something added to your life

The thing which you need is the combination of something with a bind

Turning things to your favor is easy task , easy then playing with knife

Heart beating with good rate as from tomorrow school is starting , I want a smooth start nothing hard and rough i want basically . I have to control myself there or else i'l beat someone or may be beaten up . No one wished me luck from their side for tomorrow's day as it will be tough day for me . Hope I'l be able to gain something from tomorrow . Had met shreya at home today as she came home today what we would have done in a empty house it may be easy to guess . Today was fine not that bad not that good . I was on the floor I was not flying i should say basically . Saw akshu too it was good she was looking good won't be able to meet her frequently as schools are starting .

Its so confusing I am unable to understand myself better what i want is the biggest confusion and doubt in my life . Its tough to walk and walk every time when you don't know the direction .

Really feeling what right now I too don't know , I only know that tomorrow will be new and I will learn something more than nothing . Its tough to laugh and smile when you don't know how to react .

Path is a full of crosses thing i really should do is watch and watch and do nothing as doing nothing is a better option .

Sometimes you are in which path you too don't know . You think you know the importance of your path but you don't know a shit about your path and direction . From tomorrow school is reopening , new school new friends , new dress . Hope I'l be able to take the change in positive manner and would be able to study hard and make some change in a better sense . I want no fight as i hate it now I just wanna peace and stable state of mind . Tomorrow will be new day with a new meaning waiting for it . Who does not hope for the best I too will be hoping so simple . Today no great schedule more than sleeping and yawning . Shreya was saying that she will come home today lets see how the day will be turning .

You are a hard rock person you make the rule

The thing you know is the thing you don't

Its difficult to learn several things like learning

Why everything is not simple and come with warning

You can hit hard by mixed emotions anytime

The thing you should do in that situation is nothing

Doing nothing helps you in many thing and its simple

Also doing nothing benefits you many times to gain ample

You can't guess what will happen next , its so tough to say what will be in future . Living in present is a better option today was usual nothing great nothing bad It was better than normal . Means today I forgot to think more , today I forgot to get sad it was good in some manner . Learning the art of learning and siting still it really helps many time .

To make a future great you have to make awesome present , Its like not that important to think about making others mind every time. Sometimes its good to satisfy and make your mind , if you happy you can obviously make many peoples happy .

Sit still and almost take everything makes you strong , you can take sadness and happiness both. Today had no tuition as always will be regular in tuition's after school will reopen .

Had chat with shreya's best friend Tanya I thought her to be an evil and felt hard to talk to her but today had chat with her for long duration and it was nice . Discussed what i feel for nothing , everything is just not more than nothing for

me and she was being logical was giving accurate answers i liked it .

The thing i am loving the most these days is dreaming and sleeping it really helps you to feel better .

Love never existed for me its just a don't know type of thing for me . I don't care sometimes as nothing makes my heart feel free and better with ease .

The wind blows as the way its running for love

In case of wind there is no love like his

No one can Love him the way he do and run

Everyone just love each other for no issue more fun

The love of wind is so majestic everywhere

Nothing can match the intensity by which the wind loves

Wind Is wind he does not find his match anytime

But his she is everywhere and he can feel it every time

His love is pure and divine as it sees nothing

The thing it sees is the love all over

Being a wind is so difficult for us here

The pain he has we can't even think to bear

The thing he want is love all over

Sometime he is able to spread the presence sometimes not

He is so free but too sad without her as he search her everywhere

She is the only thing he need for his life nothing more here

The emotion are never easy to flow from ones heart to other it takes time usually and generally if you wanna kiss someone you can't go and say fluently that hey lady you looking gorgeous give me a kiss or we can make out sometime or can go for ride too . Its so so difficult sometimes two peoples feel same for each other but neither girl dare to say something nor a guy have guts .

someone should make some device to detect the emotions it would be really profitable from all prospects .. :p

Had met akshu today gave gift to her , guess what was the gift it was bangles I bought for her from the place I gone for party purpose .

Now a days I am living in dream world with loads of imagination watching dreams in dream too My story is Like the story of Inception sometimes I feel like that . I know its funny where Inception and Where I.

Created A self satisfy logo for myself when I repeat that word In my mind I feel good . The world is " I don't care ".

Everything is fine from different angles , important from different angles but they are so fast they are not getting inside my mind and I don't wanna get that too as I don't care .

Trying to make my own emotion in peace is a better option as it is impossible that anyone could know you better than you know yourself .So its better to laugh hard at every situation no matter what.

She is sweet , She is Cute , She is with nice hair , She has nice figure , She talks sense . There are so many "she" used in this sentence each she is for other girl not the same . How it would be if all quality's would have been combined in any girl and that girl falls in my pocket . There are no one crazier like me i feel sometimes . Its foolish to run after something which is not yours I feel sometimes . Its so difficult to sit tight and do nothing more than siting , Yesterday I had nothing special everything was slow and boring with same thing going and going . Its stupid to feel something for someone who feel nothing for you means not feel the way you feel for them . What is the main problem around me is no problem I finally got the answer of my irritated question . No great thing these days going these days everyone is busy doing something and me busy in missing them no other great and valuable work to do is left for me . From last two days I was out of station today back here thinking do nothing as I am good at doing nothing .

What i want for my ease is the need i don't need after some observations I realized that me my self could handle my self better . Yesterday was fine akshu came home i cooked something for her , hope I made that stuff good . I m feeling what i too don't know , the problem of mine is that i think more i feel . How good it may have when someone could understand you before you say anything to them it would be have an awesome feeling . You may never get hurt , your smile would have been so precious and important to them and they may have understand you better than you understand yourself .

Sometimes i feel what it takes to be an extra ordinary can't the normal people with abnormal or normal activity's people like me can't make the change , can't make their mind stable and at peace with nothing more than nothing inside it .

That touch with a feeling , that kiss with a feeling , that hug with a feeling , that fun with a feeling . Is "that" all you need to be happy .

The way you did was little different

I took you as everything but you find me inappropriate

The thing I want is forever not just for rent

Sometimes I feel lost and exhausted that's why it suffocate

The actions of mine are hard sometimes but I fell bad after acting

Thing I need is much less than everything here

Learning and listening is great art you require for thinking

Sometimes your shoulder are strong and sometime weak to bear

Sometimes you want that sometimes not , sometime you need that thing sometimes you need something else , Its all about sometime . In life you can't get everything you desire you want , sometimes you need to be satisfied with that something portion . I am a person with greed I want these , I want that and I want that and that too . Technically I want everything What I desire for but in return I give nothing its bad of me , its ass of me . I just need thins I don't work for it , everything comes from sky and fall in my big pocket . Being happy is a great art learning that art is a unknown process . one day i too will learn and i will be the happiest person . When I'l be happy I'l throw my happiness over everyone .

The thing you know is not enough sometimes

You don't get everything why so without crimes

I need that I need that too but how is it possible

The targets I see their are they achievable

Everything is fine and good what I want

I want everything in this world with her beautiful smile on rent

I like to imagine her anytime or any place

Her smile is so clear so touching and full of grace

The way see looks on me when i do crime

To get her reaction I can do anything Prime

Including her I want many thing more That is what

I feel it is she with lots of satisfaction filled in a big big pot

Someday day is yours some day not , some day you are happy some day not . I can say I was happy today as I spend my first half with my beautiful akshu . She was looking so gorgeous while sleeping what to say , I was starring her like hell , She was heaven for me today . I was calm and cool never before meeting her but she is my super duper best friend . She gave a hug it was little but effective I needed that badly but I didn't told anyone . I was able to feel her presence after she was gone too , she is so cute man . Hope she get break up , She was asking that why I want that she could get break up . I said looking in her eyes innocently " mujhey bhi nhi malum akshu " . Overall day was great got my bike rims back now will be getting it fit tomorrow . Met shreya too today it was nice experience with her too . But today's best part was my akshu my beautiful I love to watch her sleeping , oh damn she was looking so cute and sweet i was feeling like to kiss her that time but I didn't wanted a big kick in my ass that's why I was doing nothing more than adoring her and murmuring some non sense. I was playing with her hair sometimes , sometimes was beating her with pillow and sometimes she was beating me and I was shouting akshu is raping me anyone help ... :p .. I was little sad as she told that when her brother will be coming we won't be able to meet and talk so frequent .. :/ .. Hoping for the best for everything what else I could do better .

Its so great when someone holds your hand tight

You fear nothing everything seems so right

You can sometime can do anything to see her smile

Or else you could do non sense for her for a while

Sometimes everything could go great you just need hope

You may get fail too as she can tie your emotion with rope

Thinking would never be the same for everyone

You may think something and she could find no logic none

The best way is to wait and wait until she falls

Because waiting is better than a loss

The thing you can do is sit still and watch

Maybe your luck works and you could get to catch

The way she sees me she say something from eyes

She is my magician she knows my cries

Everything is she for me I need her forever

I am a dead flower and she is my shower

I have many confusions and she is answer to that

She talks to my level she is so great

I forget all my past and future when she smile

I can for her run hard for a many many mile

She is virtue to my emotions and can crack them out

She is a great learner and she handles me when I shout

I think more and more but when she is close I think only of her

I have an unknown disease so she is the one whom i prefer

Again mood is like happy happy some thoughts jumping in mind , some thoughts sleeping . Sometimes its difficult to know that what you are feeling right now and for whom you are feeling its like good and nice feeling . Everything is unknown than too heart feels free with that person. Its not logical I know but Its much much more than logic's it is about feelings and flow of feelings it was awesome and it is awesome and hopefully will remain awesome .

Yesterday was owed by akshu the sweet heart and today will be owed by my bike it got fucked up so it needs maintenance , My cashier Shreya is lending me 1000 rs i didn't expected but she is lending and will not take in return too how good of her , she is so helpful ... :p

I don't care about anything I just don't get afraid by any problem these days everything is normal , I get sad , I get happy , I laugh too . Things are in track after long time , thinking to write Hindi poem again .

Dil mae aa kae aapne kar diya baekhabar

Na hum iss pal mae they na us pal mae

Hume toh Aapki aadat Si ho gayi hae aur aap hain baekhabar

Chehre mae jo taazgi hae in dino aap hi ki rehmat hae

Is dil mae na koi gilla hae na sikwa

Dil chahta hae sirf ek kasis aur us kasis mae ek khusi

Hum they pagal hum hae awaara jo bhi hae Tu hae kinaara

Choti si aarzo ki badi si justazo hae paana tujhey hi hae khusi

Today was tick tack type of day , great because of my dearest akshu and bad because of my bike . Today had great 4 hours with akshu in which i laughed cried from inside little as I wanted to flow all my emotion , my emotions were flowing with her as she was conductor for my emotions , and she was attracting my emotions, love to have her . She today cooked for me some new dish she invented It was awesome , I was feeling like to hug her tight that time and wanted to tell her that she made me feel really special . I shared my past and little secrets with her , she was that time more than any other girl to me , she was fabulous as usual her smile and her glowing face steal my heart Was in ease after long time . She is awesome I should say really her b.f is lucky hope she should give him break up or she may not love her any more , don't know why i am saying these but it will be good .... :p

After Akshu was gone my luck was gone with her really , I got my bike fucked up Tyre was fucked and rim too got band it was bad luck of mine .

But at the end I am satisfied man as I have my akshu and friends like her she is really special I don't have specific reason but she is special to me ..

The way you smile you steal my heart

The way you touch I go go high

You have something by which I really feel great

Something you have that's why you excite me and i fly

The thing I wanna know is you only

Nothing great I expect in my life more than you

I wanna live with you wanna live with you completely

But why I feel for you every time and my face has no clue

Fantasy's and day dreams leads you to nothing , sometimes means what you think that thinking has several probability's than you think the thing which could happen to you would be the thing from the list of probability only . For me the case is like everything happens to me randomly nothing like probability comes in my case , always things different from my probability list happens to me sometimes it helps and become useful for me and sometimes the thing happen is so annoying and that thing i never thought and sort of . Its better to let things happen making probability list leads to nothing i feel .

Sometimes I feel expectation too is bad , we expect such a great from someone and they make us fall , and we feel entirely broken and beaten up . You are passenger waiting for your train would be a better option than expecting for something else including fantasy's and daydreams

Hoping today to be a normal happy day with less turns ..

Learning by learning , running by running , laughing by laughing , doing by doing its just so normal feeling so good . Accepting by accepting loving the things its so awesome sometimes i feel sad too its like nice i feel sometimes . Things going great Today had a nice day as usual means i accepted everything learned something from this day . That Nothing is bad nothing is good until you learn and know something about that thing . Today I will be writing a Hindi poem i am thinking , i know it would be with full of errors .

" Dil mae ek aur chota sa dard hae

Dard kyun hae waja shayad ek sak hae

Dil baekaran hone laga hae Hum kahin khone lagae hain

Us pagal nae shayar aur aasiq bana diya aur woh khud hi baekhabhar hain "..:p

This was enough of my unique and senseless shayari ..

Nothing like love exist its all shit

Love is a flop and can never be hit

I believe in loving myself and liking others

Love is a wind and now I love weathers

I am getting good these days thanks to akshu

I have a virus and I think she can save me from this flu

Love involves understanding and making someone feel better

I think we could do that things by our own more beautifully rather

I should be thankful to all who made me feel good

I think everything involves something and something more than blood

Some can be in peace with nothing they are called great

I believe in laughing and being happy with no treat

Thinking much about something not gonna change it

I learned now you better work on the things more than a grit

Saving your mind and making it in peace is more easy

Than expecting someone to be great is foolish as they are busy

Yesterday was pleasant i really liked it bunking tuition was a success really for me that day as met akshu . Great fun loving girl we had coffee and Fun in a store near our place it was enjoying experience really she was looking beautiful i should say . She was sad yesterday I wanted to make her happy to some level so I took her to That store . I forgot about all my problems regarding g.f's and studies and all other irritating stuff when I was with her . It was a worth experience I should say she is my sweetest buddy I feel sometimes . I gone to past too while I was chatting with her for few moments . And after leaving her my bike played a game with me suddenly fuel turns to empty and i didn't mind really because I could pay any thing to get that experience I had with akshu . We had chat in the idea that love is a wind it comes and goes nothing serious . Every time when I get emotional I remember that line only and I feel good from inside and i forget everything .

Today after long time will draw something in my sketch book because i am feeling like drawing as my emotions need to come out after so many days .

Guess what i got an admission in good C.B.S.E school and my classes will be starting from 15 th of this month , I will be no longer siting Idol and getting bored.

What is must its the need to find still , but then too i feel i am self satisfied sometimes . Everything is fine in their own place but angle from which I see things may have defect sometimes . Anshu is back in the city but who cares if she will be needing me I'l be there for her . All coaching's of mine are starting from today . I am thinking to fall in love with my studies I think it may help me to achieve something valuable .

You see precious thing close sometimes and sometimes its too far to our reach . But then too we don't get satisfy until we gave our attempt to that . same case is with happiness until we try to be happy we can't be happy , to get something you have to give a try at least .

It depends On you that at the end you want to lye in peace or you want to lye with a guilt that you never tried if you would have tried you would have something better .

No one is harsh no one have black heart to hurt you . The reason for your hurt is the thing called afraid sometimes they are afraid of your emotion and sometimes you are afraid of theirs . Every one hear are just same as you but sometimes you are able to learn them and sometimes not .

Its the way things are and will be same

I think I need to start accepting it normally

The heart lies somewhere but where is that frame

The thing which can hold you is no where to find easily

The thing you need you better find in yourself

Because its easy to get what you want inside not outside

Everything is close to you you just need to find in your shelf

The only tutor of yours is you and no one could better guide

The way to be silent is just staying calm

Nothing lyes somewhere everything is in you

Just you need to be patient then you will learn your charm

Nothing can harm you if you are true

Its a game which should be played with enjoyment nothing hard , nothing serious it requires only one thing that is concentration . Felt good after long time thanks to dear akshu she too believes in the ideology that love is a wind it comes and goes , she told me that nothing i should take in heart i should express all what i feel . I feet charged up now and I am trying to fall in love with my books and taking love factor as fun as she told I should wait for true love i am just 18 now . Her saying was just touching the heart I was smiling and the reason for my smile was that she understood me nicely even I was unable to learn my self but she did , I was feeling like someone has time for me , some one has time to learn me , Time to take me out from misery , time to listen my nonsense and make me feel like a superhero of south Indian film I was feeling bigger than Rajnikant the great star of the millennium .. :p

Feeling nice and refreshed this morning , now i am trying to make no ones mind now i am working with me my self only ..

Its good to be self satisfied sometimes

As you don't get what you desire many times

Taking some things as fun is good for health

The thing important is study which can lead you too wealth

The thing I should care is about me

Because If I will be fine I can help other and see

Friendship is love for me now thats i feel

I am out of pain and friendship has really helped me to heal

Fuck this world its so unjust

Everyone is lying they are not true to them self

What a heart want is much much more than a lust

Everyone is sinking where is there some gulf

You give someone heart they broke it

As for them it is just a statue

Why do they do they are nothing more than a shit

Where to laugh hard and cry aloud is there a venue

Every one knows that hurting is wrong

So why they do it seems they do it intentionally

They hit heart so hard as they feel heart is a bong

Its too tough to attach somewhere emotionally

Making things go wrong is easy every time

Loving someone is difficult as you don't get true love

But now you can wait and have fun any time

Because somethings are written from god above

Emotion is mixed always sometimes

You don't know which part is of your

So its better to learn yourself from many angles

Then One day You can say fuck rest I am true to my favor

Its so hard and bad sometimes you think so much about someone and that someone always cheats you and lie to you . Now i have prepared in mind that I don't truly love shreya I just need her . Hope I may love anshu and she too as she is coming back tomorrow , I tried to love shreya but I am unable too as her secrets are getting disclosed day by day , her all sayings are getting convert to a big big lies . I will not leave her hope she leaves me and she may find some new b.f and understand that I don't feel for her because of her noble activity's , true love never existed in this world for me I feel sometimes , Its a hypothetical word we can just assume its not real . Now every thing is just a time pass until I self realize that I love someone hoping that day of mine too comes soon .

The things get complicate by their self

Why everything is not easy like pissing

I never hide anything even my shelf

But why the world is twisting and messing

Heart has certain habit it always feel heavy

The reason behind is still not discovered

Why is this why is that I for my self feel sorry

Now no stopping just open enjoyment with nothing measured